23 Aug Give to receive
Martial artists and specifically active competitors are always looking to receive more instruction and attention from their coaches. Everyone wants to be the protagonist in the martial arts myth where the coach drops everything and tirelessly trains you to fulfill your ultimate potential. At this point I have seen all sides of this dynamic. I have been the athlete, training partner, coach, and gym owner and they have all given me unique perspectives on how to best support the individuals you most need to support you. This list is not exhaustive but certainly will put you on the right track.
Show Up – this may seem simple but it is the #1 arbiter of where I spend my time as a coach. I am.more likely to give extra time and attention to someone who I know is equally as giving of their time.
Listen – From the first question you ask how you receive and implement the answer will be judged. There is a great phrase that most advice is given more for the benefit of the advisor than the advised. Basically, most people will ask you for your opinion but not follow up on the steps. If you ask for a training plan and are told to do 100 push ups/day 1st thing in the morning if you implement that you are much more likely to receive a more detailed plan the next time. Strong implementation will lead to better advice in the future.
Give Praise Freely – The more credit you give publicly to your gym, partners, and coaches the more they will conciously or subconsciously seek out that praise by helping you more in the future. Everyone seeks recognition in some for or another so find their favorite and lavish it upon them.
Support Your Teammates – Always being there for your training partners will not go unnoticed. Especially if you are taking the time to make sure the newest members of the community are being included and beginning to grasp both the technical and social cues of the school.
Stay Low Maintenance – If you ask a lot in some area ask the minimum in others. The easier you make payment for dues or lessons the more likely that person has greater mental bandwidth to dedicate to supporting your journey in other areas.
Money – Always the elephant in the room. But for most good coaches I know it is low on the totem pole for what they seek. All of the above I think are much more important in the long run to having a productive relationship with any coaches.
The more a fighter can give of all the above categories the more they will receive. If a fighter is not getting the attention they feel they deserve they should look at the above areas first and foremost.